Lost in Spirit’s void. In the land of no-nothing. Where earth and sky don’t meet. Like a hammock spun between two trees. The only support loosely stitched. The ground so close beneath.
My model for love was broken. Fragmented and torn years ago. Lifetimes before.
Forlorn I wandered. I crawled. I cried. Looking from space to face. Seeking the love that should find me.
Should find me, said the victim.
Stories spun like silk. From a black widow’s web. Romance and mystery. Prince Charming. Armor sweeps me off my feet. Roses without thorns.
And I wandered. Wondered. Looking for the proof of make believe.
The prince is not a frog, the world cried. There’s no magic mirror. I gasped.
Look inside, it said. You are a queen. The sunshine of your soul. You are the answer to your prayers.
No, I said. No.
And again the world said, yes.
I stubbed my toe. It pulled me down. Down to the ground. Where I could hear. Mother Earth kissed my forehead.
That’s a sin, the victim said.
Aloneness is not OK, waled my child. The little one. She shook.
Cling to your stories, screamed misery. There must be another answer, said mind. Or suffer, said the victim.
While the astrologer mused, the things we seek most stay at bay. Follow Jupiter. Be the moon.
How, I cried.
I’m afraid. the victim said.
I’m willing, said my heart.
A voyage to the healers. Mystics, gurus, and friends. They said, leave. Stay. Go. Seek inside. You deserve more, said my ego.
I said, ah-ha! The fairy tale is make believe.
And the world said, yes. Rise. Take a stand. Look to the sky. See your eyes. Be big. Heal with the ocean. Wash your feet in the sand. War spiritually.
I ran. This time to a far off land. Away to meditate. To cry. For perspective.
The world said, OK, child.
You are on path. Breath deep and slow. Take the backseat. Witness. Make sense of the senseless. There’s nothing ahead. No-nothing physical. Know only your heart.
Then the world held me. And my heart broke.
I sank. Looking inside. Within the space. A beautiful void. Where butterfly wings float my Soul. In spun silk nests. My home. Love is priceless. Love is free.
Cozy, my heart said. And I cried.
Inside my soul. Wrapped in warmth. A glow. My home inside each breath. One heart. One voice. One mind. One beat.
Thank you, said my heart.
Skipping over the horizon. Across grass. My feet secure. Standing free. On the mountain top, which was my roof. But whatever. I can see forever from here.
The view of infinity. Where wind casts rainbows. Against a backdrop of magic. Blossoming, beyond illusion. I am me. Wild. Free. All along. Born in space. To create, heal, love.
To be love. To be loved. To love everything.
You are a free spirit, said the wise ones.
Thank you, said my heart.
I love you, I said to me.